I'M BR OK E

I'M BR OK E
2011
Acrylic, Stencil Templates, Screws on Gypsum
Kim Barry

I have a knack for finding value in the hard to reach places. I see it long before most are being spoon fed the cheap, mass produced, rufi laced version, sometime after. It comes in all forms of nouns and verbs. I don't need the centerfold interview or highlighted mention in the latest "IT" magazine to learn and know its value when staring it in the face. Viceversely,  I sometimes see sugared coated poo a mile away but always hope it's, at least, Mr. Hankey. Putting it on the line all the time can create more than a few sightings of him.

Value, as of late, has been a shaky word in my vocabulary. Everyone is constantly having devaluing conversations, negotiating yard sale issues, and bargaining their ideas at a penny to the original dollar. "It's a recession," they all say. "Oh, times are tough." And "We are so broke. I can only do so much."

It's thrown me off. I had always demanded worth in my action and encouraged others in theirs'. Events in 2011 shook me to the point of seriously considering throwing it all away and resigning myself to a reality of bargain basement living. WHY? Though I was speaking value into my actions, everyone around me was speaking louder as they were auctioning off my latest move on ebay. "Why are you focusing on creating this idea when Widget World will pay you a whopping $12/hr and healthcare for simple, safe monotonous movement and you can count on it?", they'd say. Gee, I don't know, cause I value the concept of what I can do as more? Those not willing to agree and support were eventually dropped off at the next Yum Yum Fauxnuts for their own job application.

The residual energy of their words was harder to shake. Am I delusional? Am I setting myself up for trading in the 401k and, in return, receiving a bed at the shelter in 6 months? Paralyzing panic set in when I was alone with myself- no longer fighting against the others. My inner voice traded to their side and beat me up over every decision I had made and could make. So, I did what anyone losing their grip of their world would do. I got strep throat from my ever helpful bud, Danni, and slept for three days straight. So did my beagle, Rory. She looks for constant excuses to lay sideways.

 I woke with a thought.  Broke is simply the state of mind where you can't see the value of your surroundings and how they can work for you.  The value stamp and devalue stamp get all mixed up. I've seen some people throw their life on the line for their car but think helping their relative a waste. Yesterday, I found a beautiful poem in the dumpster. It was about feet. Ironically, the writer was demanding that we value our own, as she then, threw the argument in the trash. We throw out what should be treasured and painstakingly devote years of cleaning and, consequently, a small fortune in Minwax in preserving what should be laid to rest. Btw, did I use "ironically" in proper context? I hate all forms of that word.

Words can be used to infuse everything with value and can also be used to strip faster than a BMW left in Southeast D.C. This is what makes words a form of alchemy. Once we realize this, the priority list should be made, checked, and revisited to keep us straight.

The single cause of mental suicide is putting your own worth in the hands of others. Trust me, if you don't set it, then know this. Everyone else is looking to get you at yard sale pricing.  It's the Fall-mart way. Pay less, live more! Truth- you are not living if you were willing to become one in the mob fighting for the last $2 waffle maker last Holiday. Ho, Ho, ...yer crazy.

So, look around. There is value in everything. Use your head, your heart, and your imagination. Most of all, value yourself.

Even with $3 in your pocket, you are BR OK E.

It's 1:23am
I am value-ing bed.